Yes, it has been a ridiculously long time but I have had nothing to talk about lately. The kid machine is on hold until the new year when we start adoption school. Thanks to our references who slaved over 10 freaking pages of a brutal application form (handwritten - like the dark ages) and we've both been prodded and poked and determined medically sound. So, it's on hold for a few more months.
I did today have coffee with a very awesome friend of mine who is having to make a rather quick decision about having a child or not. It got me thinking about why I want a child. There is no moment in life that I heard a *ping* and thought "I want a child." I just knew. Since I can remember. I love the idea of a big family, I love the idea of raising someone, introducing them to the things I love and the people in my life. I love the idea of giving someone an opportunity. When things are bad in my life, I try and envision my life in five years time. I go best case and think about who is in it, what I am doing, where I live - what does it look like. Always, without fail, it involves a child and a bigger family. Actually, lately it's involved twins ... but I think I might keep that to myself. Having the conversation about one child was bad enough with my other half - twins might set him over the edge. I think I made the decision to have a child in my life 20-30 years ago and have just been slow getting to this point.
