New Years resolution #43 - move blog to Wordpress.
1 out of 43 down - moved this site to Wordpress (much more flexibility and nicer interface) and my further ramblings can be found here: http://twomenandababy.wordpress.com.
Jan 3, 2010
Dec 23, 2009
Merry and Happy Everyone!
Hope everyone has a relaxing holiday - happy everything! Hard to believe, but this time next year, our family could be a little bit bigger.
Adoption school starts in the new year, so I'll have much more to write about.
Adoption school starts in the new year, so I'll have much more to write about.
Nov 17, 2009
Choices
Yes, it has been a ridiculously long time but I have had nothing to talk about lately. The kid machine is on hold until the new year when we start adoption school. Thanks to our references who slaved over 10 freaking pages of a brutal application form (handwritten - like the dark ages) and we've both been prodded and poked and determined medically sound. So, it's on hold for a few more months.
I did today have coffee with a very awesome friend of mine who is having to make a rather quick decision about having a child or not. It got me thinking about why I want a child. There is no moment in life that I heard a *ping* and thought "I want a child." I just knew. Since I can remember. I love the idea of a big family, I love the idea of raising someone, introducing them to the things I love and the people in my life. I love the idea of giving someone an opportunity. When things are bad in my life, I try and envision my life in five years time. I go best case and think about who is in it, what I am doing, where I live - what does it look like. Always, without fail, it involves a child and a bigger family. Actually, lately it's involved twins ... but I think I might keep that to myself. Having the conversation about one child was bad enough with my other half - twins might set him over the edge. I think I made the decision to have a child in my life 20-30 years ago and have just been slow getting to this point.
I did today have coffee with a very awesome friend of mine who is having to make a rather quick decision about having a child or not. It got me thinking about why I want a child. There is no moment in life that I heard a *ping* and thought "I want a child." I just knew. Since I can remember. I love the idea of a big family, I love the idea of raising someone, introducing them to the things I love and the people in my life. I love the idea of giving someone an opportunity. When things are bad in my life, I try and envision my life in five years time. I go best case and think about who is in it, what I am doing, where I live - what does it look like. Always, without fail, it involves a child and a bigger family. Actually, lately it's involved twins ... but I think I might keep that to myself. Having the conversation about one child was bad enough with my other half - twins might set him over the edge. I think I made the decision to have a child in my life 20-30 years ago and have just been slow getting to this point.
Sep 15, 2009
Adoption School Failure
Ok, so we didn't fail adoption school, but it kinda failed us. Not to complain - big government cuts and all - but we had less than a week notice for the start of adoption school. Alas, it is the only day of the week that neither of us could make it. Between school - already started and paid for - and a fundraiser I am part of, we ain't going to learn about the A, B and C's of adoption this term. We also had to attend all ten classes together.
Next term - so stay tuned faithful readers. We'll have adoption stories yet.
Next term - so stay tuned faithful readers. We'll have adoption stories yet.
Sep 9, 2009
The Government Took My Baby?
Alas, no word yet on adoption school - the next hurdle we have to pass. We have gone to our doctors and gotten the medical ok, our friends and families have supplied reams of reference answers (handwritten only) and we are waiting.
In the meantime, the BC Government has hit hard times and has been reducing budgets all over the place. The Ministry of Children and Families hasn't been spared. Is this the hold up for adoption school? Are they just going to start giving kids away like candy to save money? Come on government, let's get going - there's a kid for us somewhere in your system!
In the meantime, the BC Government has hit hard times and has been reducing budgets all over the place. The Ministry of Children and Families hasn't been spared. Is this the hold up for adoption school? Are they just going to start giving kids away like candy to save money? Come on government, let's get going - there's a kid for us somewhere in your system!
Aug 18, 2009
The Times Article on Gay Parenting
The Times has an article on two dads who adopted a son: Same sex adoption: our new life as Dad and Daddy. The article goes through the experience of two dads who adopted a three year old boy through the UK Government. They call it an 18 month blind date arranged by social workers - very apt and very much what we are experiencing.
One of the facts that intrigued me in the article concerned adoption leave:
Part of the reason that Scott appears to have settled in with us so well is no doubt down to the fact that my partner Michael was able to take a year’s adoption leave from his job as a teacher. Adoption laws changed in 2005, allowing same-sex couples to decide who should be the primary adopter, and receive the equivalent of maternity leave. With Michael’s employer, it worked out at a year off work on just over half pay, and it has been invaluable.
That's a nice perk and something I haven't heard of in BC. Then again, I'm self employed and a year of adoption leave is possible, it just means I don't get paid for a year.
I wonder if one day this will be all normal. Adoption leave, gay adoption, two dads ... just another facet of a family.
One of the facts that intrigued me in the article concerned adoption leave:
Part of the reason that Scott appears to have settled in with us so well is no doubt down to the fact that my partner Michael was able to take a year’s adoption leave from his job as a teacher. Adoption laws changed in 2005, allowing same-sex couples to decide who should be the primary adopter, and receive the equivalent of maternity leave. With Michael’s employer, it worked out at a year off work on just over half pay, and it has been invaluable.
That's a nice perk and something I haven't heard of in BC. Then again, I'm self employed and a year of adoption leave is possible, it just means I don't get paid for a year.
I wonder if one day this will be all normal. Adoption leave, gay adoption, two dads ... just another facet of a family.
Aug 13, 2009
Holding Pattern
I'm in a holding pattern. Adoption school doesn't start for another month or so. I've coached all my friends through their ten page reference questions (coached as in provided moral support, rather than answers!). We've started the process of looking at houses in better neighbourhoods (I deemed this necessary the other day when I saw a couple outside our window having sex). We've talked to a few other couples that have done this sort of thing - with good results. We've told our families and friends. And now we wait ...
One of the things about this process that I have found most surprising is the lack of similar experiences in the internet. We were fortunate enough to have found a couple of dads locally that were willing to talk with us but when we first thought about this I went to the internet for help and found pretty well nothing. If I have a question about my car - the internet - about a movie - the internet - what to cook for dinner - the internet - a health question - the internet. But when I looked for other dads that had done this - almost nothing.
I did find William and John's blog and website and facebook page. All those dreamy blue eyes, I don't know if I can compete. They've found a birth mother though and stopped posting a few months back. And there are other dads that had previous families (more like a Brady Bunch thing) but something like what we are going through seems internet rare. Have you run across anything we should be reading? Had a similar experience?
One of the things about this process that I have found most surprising is the lack of similar experiences in the internet. We were fortunate enough to have found a couple of dads locally that were willing to talk with us but when we first thought about this I went to the internet for help and found pretty well nothing. If I have a question about my car - the internet - about a movie - the internet - what to cook for dinner - the internet - a health question - the internet. But when I looked for other dads that had done this - almost nothing.
I did find William and John's blog and website and facebook page. All those dreamy blue eyes, I don't know if I can compete. They've found a birth mother though and stopped posting a few months back. And there are other dads that had previous families (more like a Brady Bunch thing) but something like what we are going through seems internet rare. Have you run across anything we should be reading? Had a similar experience?
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